Teens, Mental Health, and Parenting in the Midst of Covid-19

Rhonda C. Boyd, Ph.D., Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia

Carolina Hausmann-Stabile, Ph.D., Bryn Mawr College

The COVID-19 pandemic and the public health response to this crisis requires us to spend more time together in our homes and have disrupted our routines. Many are also experiencing financial uncertainty, disruptions in mental health treatment, and in some cases, illness and death. 

In moments like this, families may experience greater levels of stress, anxiety, and social isolation, which, in turn, can increase conflicts between caregivers and teenagers. They also provide us with opportunities to connect with each other and practice self-care.

As youth suicide researchers, we know that in stressful moments, it is always important to focus on reducing family conflict, experiencing togetherness, and staying hopeful. In this spirit, we will be publishing, from time to time, thoughts and suggestions about resources for youth, families, and individuals to cope with the challenges brought up by the COVID-19 pandemic. 

Assessing your teen’s emotions though shared activities

The changes brought by the COVID-19 pandemic impact people emotionally, although we do not know much about this yet. It is important that we are attuned to how our teens are feeling and experiencing this crisis. Talking with each other is a good way to explore these issues. We want to begin a conversation without being intrusive or confrontational.  Another way to assess our teens’ feelings is by sharing an activity with them. Shared activities can distract our attention from the crisis, while at the same time connecting us emotionally. 

Select activities that generate relaxation and joy. With teens, think of activities aligned with their interests and/or family activities they enjoyed when they were younger.  Also ask them for recommendations, which will help them feel competent and empowered. Do not get disappointed and upset if your teen does not want to participate initially. This is an opportunity to let them know that you look forward to doing things with them because you enjoy their company. Focus on the positive aspects of everyday family experiences and the value of spending time together. 

Routines are important for our well-being

The COVID-19 pandemic has disrupted our routines. It is important, however, that we create new routines for ourselves and our families. Set an alarm to wake up, eat together, and make plans for each day. Developing a routine for each family member may help set times for shared activities, eliminate negotiations and conflicts. Routines provide a sense of grounding and mastery that is important to well-being. Additionally, maintain clear behavior expectations of your teen, such as chores and social distancing with their friends, during this time.  

Home schooling and teens 

Caregivers working from home or looking for employment online may struggle juggling these tasks and their added teaching responsibilities. Families are also facing disparate access to online learning resources, the technologies needed to implement those, and the support available to these families. Remember that this is happening to many other teens and families, and that it is not your sole responsibility to solve it. Focus on things you can address and leave the rest. Reducing family conflict should be a priority during this crisis. 

Keeping your anxiety away from the kids

Many teens may not fully understand the scope and challenges associated with the COVID-19 pandemic and see themselves an invulnerable. They may be more stressed about the social limitations than about the virus. On the other hand, many adults may be experiencing elevated levels of distress from multiple sources. If is important for adults to manage their anxiety so that their teens are not negatively influenced by it. Teens look to their caregivers for safety and assurance.   

When talking to your teens, tailor your message to what they can understand and offer hope.  Acknowledge your inability to provide solutions to the larger societal challenges, but be open to collaborate with your family to help each other navigate these uncertain times. 

Parenting a teen with depression during COVID-19

The changes in routines brought by the pandemic have also disrupted mental health service delivery. If that is the case for your family, remind your teen of the skills he/she/they have learned, and be honest about not knowing when things will be back to normal. Keep track of your teen’s sleep, appetite, and mood and inform their providers. Many mental health services are using technology to deliver services, and be open to using these methods.  

Teen’s engagement with peers and other support systems is vital. It is more important to foster social connection through social media or cell phones. If your teen becomes withdrawn, do not hesitate to help them create activities (exercise, games, etc.) and work with them to accomplish realistic goals. 

Teen and families are resilient and can foster new ways to cope during this public health crisis.